Jake, take my word man, bugger out of here!

Hey Jake, listen man, I know there has been a glut of self-appointed career advisers who have told you this and that since you became the best rugby coach on this planet.

But you have to listen to me. You see, my lousy calculations tell me you have to bid farewell to the Springboks. I mean, you came through the Baby Boks ranks and achieved what many rugby coaches around the world can only dream of.

You won the under 21 World Cup with South Africa in 2002. You have proved a point and I don’t see why you should stay put for another four years. What is going to drive you to aspire to greater heights this time?

And, by the way, if you decide to stick with this job, one of those people who have been twisting your arm to stay on, President Thabo Mbeki, will be retired when you’re halfway through your new four-year term.

While the media will be kakking on you for nothing and administrators pushing your hairline a few centimetres back every month, Mbeki will be giving lectures around the world or sharing office space with Ban Ki-Moon in that glass office in New York.

Another man who has taken the liberty to counsel you on your next step in life is Bheki Khumalo of Sasol. Remember, this is the man who spent a good six years in that big office at the Union Buildings. Gets you thinking, doesn’t it? I say take that Wales job.

There are more pluses for you over there than here with the Bokke. Also check with Nick Mallet. I’m sure he is a better person to tip you on this matter as he has extensive working experience in Europe.

One of the advantages of working in Wales is that, besides being a lekker and quiet country, you won’t miss your lamb chops. They have sevenmillion sheep and three million people. There is also a large variety of beers there.

Ask me, I spent three months in that country and I didn’t regret a single day, though my liver might beg to differ. By taking this job you will also become resident number one at the Millennium Stadium, one of the best arenas the world has ever seen.

This will also mean your children can go to some of the best schools and universities in the universe, unlike being learners at some Hoërskool Generaal Piet Malan where one of their subjects will probably be how to hate black people.

And, oh, there is a question of raking in those pink notes that have a picture of that old woman on the back. It’s worth it, Jake.

Your chances of winning the lotto in four years are as slim as Bafana Bafana’s chances of winning the African Cup of Nations in January. Anyway, it’s up to you, but let me know when you’ve made a final decision.